BARE in the Woods is a music festival that has grown in popularity enormously in recent years.
Situated in the serene setting of Garryhinch Woods in Portarlington, BARE in the Woods provides an eclectic vibe of funky music and comedy.
Here, our man Mark Doheny is on hand to provide you with 21 reasons why you should attend BARE in the Woods:
1. It has won three Irish Festival of the Year awards for 2016.
2. The festival site straddles both Laois and Offaly. You’ll spot the
locals as they’ll be the ones thinking twice about crossing into the Offaly side of the site.
3. This festival brought the Sugar Hill Gang to Laois last year, and they loved it.
4. Right Said Fred will be there this year and they’re probably still too sexy for their shirts.
5. With the gangland killings and poor football team finally it’s some good press for Portarlington.
6. Garryhinch woods is not for Illegal dumping or dogging, it’s for music.
7. Electric Picnic is no longer where the cool kids go, it’s where your kids and your friends kids go.
8. House of Pain are there, go and jump around before that leads to a hip or back injury.
9. The line-up is full of Irish and International breakthrough Acts that will be massive, you can bore your friends saying you saw them before they were cool.
10. Mike Skinner is coming as his song “Fit and Don’t you Just Know it” was written about a girl called Ash from Port.
11. For comedy fans there’s The Rubberbandits, Andrew Maxwell, Karl Spain and even Mark Doheny.
12. Last year there was a try archery stand just to the right of the comedy stage. Luckily nobody died.
13. If you are lazy this is the festival for you as they’ll even pitch
your tent for you. Bring baby wipes or deodorant as you’ll be too lazy to shower.
14. It has a been a great one-day festival now there’ll be three days of fun.
15. Kiesza, who headlines on Friday, is a trained Canadian Navy Sniper. Sheshould be fine in Port!
16. There’s a spoken word stage or “Poems and crap” if you’re from Walsh Island.
17. If you saw the documentary you know that the Green Room has the coolest hostess in the world.
18. There’s a decent sized pond, getting Deeply Dippy it’s optional.
19. Portarlington women are hot. Unless their from the Offaly side in which case they are mental.
20. Irish Whip Wrestling will be there with shows all weekend, BARE-chested wrestlers seems appropriate when Right Said Fred are in town.
21. The KOKO Burst Stage is bringing Grime to BARE. Not the type of Grime Barry Scott and Cillit Bang can remove but Grime Music.
SEE ALSO – Mark Doheny: 15 things you’ll remember if you went clubbing in Borris-in-Ossory
