Home Columnists Mark Doheny: 21 tips to help you survive Christmas in the office

Mark Doheny: 21 tips to help you survive Christmas in the office

Tips for surviving Christmas in the office

We’re in December now which means that Christmas is in full swing.

And if you happen to work in an office, this can be a difficult time depending on how festive you are in comparison to your colleagues.

But fear not, our man Mark Doheny is here with some helpful tips to get you through!

1 – Having Christmas FM on in the office on loop from November is torture

2 – Having decorations up in the office before the 8th is unwise. It’s hard enough to get through the working day without looking at a desk covered in tinsel

3 – Always Bring in sweets to the office! Consuming excess calories are one of the few things that make the whole season tolerable

4 – Don’t try and be healthy and bring in oranges – you’re probably already unpopular so don’t burn further bridges

5 – If you’re having online shopping delivered daily to the office you had better get the receptionist or porter a present at Christmas

6 – Wearing a different Christmas jumper every day is not getting into the spirit, it’s madness

7 – Kris Kringle can be a good idea but if you specify it’s funny presents ONLY, then don’t get offended later

8 – Assume people will be hungover at least a few days in work during December and keep the volume down

9 – If your colleague is wearing the same clothes as yesterday they are probably feeling ashamed about some of their actions so be nice and don’t draw attention to them (It could be you one day)

10 – Work Christmas parties are only bearable if there’s free booze

11 – If you don’t talk to colleagues during the year don’t start at the party as it can only end badly

12 – If you suddenly find someone working in accounts really attractive you’ve had enough, go home! (said as someone working in accounts)

13 – If you’re new to a company and get an email from HR before the party telling you what’s inappropriate at a work function you can expect a wild night

14 – If HR launches an inquiry the day after the party things really got out of hand

15 – If you work close enough to the shops to run out at lunch remember that other people will be doing the same so it won’t be five minutes

16 – If you’re the type of person who brings in a singing Santa that plays every time someone walks to the photocopier you will probably go to hell when you die

17 – Being asked to be Santa for the office kids party is good motivation to go on a diet in January

18 – If you’re a manager give your staff a sneaky half day or send them home early one of the days. It’ll buy you some credit and they’ll only be sat there stuffing their faces with roses anyway

19 – If you work in retail you have my sympathy. Feel free not to wish me a happy Christmas after each purchase

20 – The whole country will be in Penny’s at least twice in December

21 – Irish coffees in work one morning can be a nice gesture, pitchers of jäger bombs for tea break will get messy

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