The summer is a wonderful time of year.
The weather is generally nice, the evenings are long and the mornings are bright.
But the summer also means that schools are closed which means that your kids which you have previously been able to ship away for a large chunk of the day during the week – are now at home ALL THE TIME.
That means that mammies and daddies spend more time than normal in the company of their little loved ones – which can cause problems.
So we’ve come up with this handy guide to get you through:
1 – Don’t give yourself false hope, there will be no lie ins. Be realistic.
The one thing we as parents look forward to in the summer when the kids are off school is not having to race around in the morning looking for socks, schoolbooks and hairbrushes and navigate tiny wriggly humans into carseats (is that just me?).
But make no mistake, whatever notions you had about quiet relaxed mornings and having a cup of tea scrolling through Facebook while the kids get a little lie in, is delusional.
Those little people who during the school year had to be woken with megaphones and dragged from their beds while protesting like climate change activists have suddenly become “morning people” who love nothing better than to wake with the birds at 6am and decide that you need to wake too with a chorus of “MAAAMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY, DADDDDDYYYYYY I want my breakfast”.
2 – Stockpile like the apocalypse is coming
Hit the shops hard people, this is not a drill. Get colouring books, paints, crayons, lego, jigsaws, tents, balls and any possible object that the cant kill one another with and which occupies them long enough for you to go to the loo.
3 – Be prepared for the weather
We live in Ireland, we occasionally see glimpses of the yellow ball in the sky (I believe its called the sun?). Don’t be fooled by the rows of shorts and t-shirts in Penneys into thinking that you can put away their raincoats and wellies.
The second you put them up the heavens will open. In order to maintain a healthy level of sanity keep the waterproof and winter clothes to hand. A bit of rain and muck never hurt anyone #itwillmakethemhardy
4 – Take an online course in terrorist negotiation
After week 2 or 3 of the holidays cabin fever may set in and the little people begin to turn on each other.
Who had the ball first or who’s turn it is to pick the cartoon on Netflix was once a small insignificant issue, it is now bordering on catastrophic with each party taking a corner and threatening the other with the harshest of consequences aka “IM TELLING MAMMY ON YOU”.
I’ve found after years of attempts that my former strategy of shouting “DON’T MAKE ME COME IN THERE” or “IF I HAVE TO TELL YE ONE MORE TIME YE ARE GOING TO BED” have made little impact. I am hopeful that my newfound negotiation skillset will prove more effective.
5 – Enjoy it
All joking aside, they are only small once. The day comes around very fast where they don’t want to you to kiss the sore knees or colour in a picture of a unicorn.
One day you will wake up and they wont have crept into your bed in the middle of the night and sprawled out like an octopus pushing you to the edge. And when that day comes you will miss it, so deep breaths mammies and daddies all the mess and tiredness is balanced by the hugs and laughs and it doesn’t last forever.
6 – Always remember wine
And lastly- failing all of the above, remember. There is always wine.