Home Columnists Musings of a modern Laois Mammy: You can’t have it all

Musings of a modern Laois Mammy: You can’t have it all

In her new column, Steph discusses some of the issues that face modern parents as they try to navigate their way through life with small humans.

She is as honest as ever about the struggles of parenting and the less-than-blessed moments that she encounters in her own life.

“You can have it all!” they said!

You can be a mother and not sacrifice your career! You can raise your kids with an amazing example of a modern, working woman who is not afraid to admit that she has needs and goals outside of her family.

You can achieve that balance of home/work life where you excel as a mother because you are not sacrificing your goals for your family and you can excel in the workplace because your home-life is so fulfilled!

Wait, you also want to have time to cook wholesome meals for your family?

You want to have time/energy to run a clean and organised home?

You’d like to exercise and keep fit?

You want time to relax in front of some mind-numbing reality TV?

You want time to spend with your significant other so that your relationship is not forgotten?

And you want time to sleep?

You want some ‘me-time’ too?

OK, I’ll give you a break, pick 2!

‘Having it all’ is the biggest myth sold to Mammies who are in fear of losing themselves completely to motherhood. It forces them to strive to achieve an ever elusive ‘balance’ that was never really achievable to begin with! In reality, something has to give.

There simply are not enough hours in the day to give yourself to all of the things that need your attention. You need to prioritise, and you need help.

I need help!

I am currently drowning in lunches and school uniforms and clothes that need to be sanitised and floors that I can’t see and washing that never ends.

My to-do lists are endless – and pointless – because no matter how much I try to motivate myself, no matter how hard I try to set aside time to get to all of the necessary tasks required to run an efficient home I just can’t do it!

I keep telling myself that I just need time, uninterrupted time and then I’ll have a pristine kitchen! But it never happens.

By the time I have time, it’s too late and I’m exhausted from giving all of my time to the other things on the list!

And now that I’m battling the pregnancy fatigue and the back to work fatigue I’m spent before the bells of the Angelus ring!

Then I tell myself I just need sleep! I think to myself, if I could just get four hours without being interrupted I’d be a new woman, I’d be on a mission!

I’d be able to tackle the whole house top to bottom and still have time to play games with the kids! But that hasn’t happened in nearly six years so the chances of it happening any time soon are fairly slim!

I look around me at these super organised mothers who seem to have it all, but on closer inspection I expect that they are struggling too!

Thanks for reading, see what else I’m up to on my blog or Facebook page! Give me an auld follow if you can!

SEE ALSO – To catch all of Steph’s columns, click here.

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Steph is a Laois mammy of three small kids. She has started a blog to document her life as a mammy muddling through parenthood and searching for her identity in a world wider than her own four walls. As the pandemic continues she has started a diary to describe daily life as a 'stuck-at-home mom'